Dear Reader,

After 17 years in the United States, Modesto and I will be moving back to Spain in November. It was always an eventuality, yet the reality of it is beginning to sink in - in a big way. Going through boxes of accumulated memories to figure out what to keep and what to donate is an emotional experience every time. Although given my background, you’d think I’d be a pro at it by now.

Born and raised in Germany, I have been an expat (i.e., not lived in Germany) since 1997. It started with getting a four-year Bachelors degree in Stirling (Scotland, UK), followed by stints of varying lengths living and working in London (England, UK), Barcelona (Cataluña, Spain), Las Palmas (Canary Islands, Spain), Aguascalientes (Aguascalientes, Mexico), Dallas (Texas, USA), Manhattan (New York, USA), and for the last seven years - the longest I have stayed in one place as an adult - Brooklyn (New York, USA).

It’s fair to say I’ve packed up, left, and started over a lot. I’ve always had one or more “junk” drawers and decorative boxes filled with rogue stationery items, but they also contain creative projects (past and potential), birthday cards, Christmas cards, and little mementos I’ve collected while living in that city. Unfortunately, I’ve never had enough space to keep all of them, so all mementos got decluttered when it was time to move.

This time, I’m taking pictures before lovingly placing them in the recycling bin. Many messages and well-wishes are now stored (forever?) in the iCloud. When I’m ready, I’ll go through them all again and create a “Love” album filled with supportive and kind messages I can read when I feel low or lonely.

--

While the logistics of an international move are time-consuming and annoying (don’t get me started on the Schrödinger’s conundrum of bank accounts), and sorting through mementos is highly emotional, the hardest part for me is always saying good-bye to the people.

Luckily, since sessions have been online for a few years now, I won’t have to say good-bye to my clients. One more reason I’m grateful to be a coach and not a therapist, my work is location-independent! ✨

My friend community has already shifted since Covid, but it still makes me emotional to think about leaving. How am I not going to bump into folks I know and love in the neighborhood anymore? Who’s going to go walk and gossip with me now? How (and for how long) will we remember each other?

​

(In case the preview doesn't load, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpW1lccxogQ)

Not to mention, I have been profoundly changed by my time here. How is Brooklyn-me going to fit in and make friends in the new place (and will they have dogs and kids for me to play with)?

Basically, I’m reminded (again) that disentangling the expat experience is like peeling the proverbial onion. It has some chunky bits, some sticky bits, and certain hairy bits you shed and cut away. Much like the vegetable, you can prepare your life in so many different ways: dry-roast on low heat, deep-fry in hot oil, keeping it as-is, or adding a little salt to taste. Moving abroad, however, will add a smorgasbord of new spices and flavors that will allow you to create an amazing, memorable, uniquely delectable dish. (Important to remember though that either way, it will make you cry.)

--

I may have to take a break from writing these newsletters, or they might be a little shorter over the next few months, so thank you in advance for understanding. As ever, thank you for being here at all, I really appreciate you. ❤️ Now, if you had to choose between two topics for upcoming issues, what’s more interesting to you:

--

Upcoming Events:

I’m speaking on Jung and Tarot at the APTi Fall Conference (online), and if you’d like to connect in-person, join me at the loving boundaries workshop in Red Hook in October!

Cheers,

​