Dear Reader,

A few weeks ago, someone emailed me to ask about a service, I replied, then they followed up asking about another service. They mentioned three things they wanted to work on, all of which were perfect fits for what I offer.

I sent a long, explanatory email, basically turning them away.

Why? Because they also wrote about all the reasons why they didn't have time to focus on their goals.

Here's the thing: after years of doing corporate trainings where half the participants didn't want to be there, it's now really important to me that my clients be motivated and receptive.

So, if you've been wondering about whether to work with a coach, I hope you find these helpful.

#1

You don't have to be crystal clear on where you want to go. You don't have to have all the steps or the final destination completely mapped out - part of the coaching process is honing in on what it is you really want. It's ok to have a vague goal!

However, you should have a niggling sensation that something's off. Or maybe there's something that has been unpleasant or unfulfilling for long enough that you can no longer go on in the same way.

It's often enough to know that you no longer want what you have, without knowing exactly what it is you do want instead. If there's something you want to change or improve, you're ready for coaching.

If you're perfectly happy with your life the way it is, there's no need for coaching.

#2

Coaching is work.

The metaphor I used in my email is that of the three frogs on a log. Imagine there are three frogs sitting by the side of a pond, and one decides to jump in. How many frogs are still sitting by the pond?

Three.

Deciding to do something and doing it are not the same.

When you tell me you want to change something in your life, but that you're too busy to do anything about it, you're not ready for coaching.

It’s not my job to try and convince you to work with me, or to downplay the time and energy it will take - you'll have to want to do the work.

Put differently, coaching you when your issues - and, crucially - your motivations to fix those issues are not at least at a 9 out of 10 would be a waste of my time and your money.

#3

Personal growth and development is uncomfortable.

Changing your behaviors and results requires direction, conscious energy, and patience. You've gotten used to your life and now that you realize it no longer serves you, there's inertia you'll have to overcome. That's often hugely uncomfortable.

In a coaching session, this can feel like being put on the spot. I will ask a lot of uncomfortable questions. When I put my coaching hat on, I'm friendly, but I'm not your friend. I'm your coach, you're my client, and we have a professional relationship with a defined end-goal.

You're a fully grown adult who's responsible for your choices. I will always be courteous and professional, but I will call you out on your BS, remind you of your agency, and give you homework. You don't pay me to coddle you, and that (especially for Feeling Types) can be really uncomfortable.

So, when you know there's something you want to change, when you're ready and motivated to do the work, and when you're willing to be challenged in the best possible ways, that's when you know you're ready for coaching.

Let me know how these land and if you have any questions or concerns!

Cheers,

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